Sunday, June 27, 2010

Hating Julia Roberts

At long last, the much-anticipated and richly deserved H4H nod to the talent-free Julia Roberts. She’s been on our back burner for some time now, but the upcoming summer release of the film version of Eat Pray Love has kicked her candidacy into high gear.

For those two of you unfamiliar with EPL (aka “Trust-funder whines her way around the world”), it’s a “woman’s book” with high annoyance potential for readers of both sexes. Spooning out pre-digested philosophical “insights,” it has, needless to say, become something of a sensation among a certain needy, self-help-hungry demographic. And though our hearts sank when we heard that Roberts would star in the movie, we weren’t surprised.

Our patient petitioner notes: “Who likes this jerk anyway? She overacts in every movie she’s ever been in. And she always seems quite pleased with herself.”

May we add that she’s a potty-mouth egomaniac, as well? (We began to suspect this when she tried to shush the Oscars’ orchestra as they appropriately tried to stifle her lengthy acceptance speech for Erin Brockovich with, “Hey, this is MY moment.”) One listen to the first 45 seconds of Roberts’ foul “tribute” to Tom Hanks (he’s another one) should pretty much let you in on both the level of her vocabulary and her ability to put together sentences when no script is provided.

Not that a script is much help for this one. In our exhaustive research, we submitted ourselves to watching the venal Eat Pray Love trailer. And people, all we can say is that her “I want to go someplace where I can...marvel at something” (:41) is already the leading contender for all-time vapid delivery of a film line, edging out Tom Cruise’s “You complete me,” the unchallenged title holder up until now.

We’re not big fans of organized religion here at H4H, but even we were irritated when we heard that Roberts’ filming her Eat Pray Love “spiritual enlightenment” segment in India blocked a congregation of Hindus from entering their temple during religious holidays. Didn’t they get the memo that they’d be interfering with HER “moment”?

Julia Roberts, we hate you.

Julia Roberts
Officially registered at Hate for Hire, June 27, 2010.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Hating obnoxious morons: three examples of rude behavior

Just who do you think you are anyway? That’s what our petitioners would like to ask the selfish, obnoxious blockheads who’ve prompted our entry this time. All three examples are symptomatic of the evaporation of good manners in an ever-increasing “me first” world that’s only getting worse.

Cell phone yakkers.
Are people getting stupider? Or is it that nowadays we can actually hear what they’re thinking (whether we like it or not) as they yammer on and on, on public buses, in supermarkets, even just walking through an otherwise quiet park? “And then I go…and then he goes…” Shut UP, will you?

Our petitioner moans, “I once had to listen to a girl tell her friend all about her sex-filled weekend, how drunk she got, and how happy her bf was that she wasn’t pregnant.” Just one example of many. We hate these rude people.

Mercifully, as cell phone rudeness continues on the upswing, there are equally increasing examples of cell phone rage. One report: Two men in a cafe were beaten and their phones destroyed by two others after the pair ignored repeated requests to curb their loud and continuous yakking on their phones. Yesssssss!

Yogurt-container scrapers.

Noise bothers us, too. And each of us has his or her own peeves. Music in the workplace? No, gracias. Windchimes when we’re trying to sleep? See our March 28 posting. Here’s a complaint with a decidedly “niche” slant.

Our petitioner writes: “You know what I hate? The sound of people scraping yogurt containers with a spoon.” OK, we’re on it, mister. Now we hate it, too.

Obsessive photo-maniacs.
A petitioner from overseas writes: “I hate camera-toting people who insist on shooting everything in sight in a museum or at a popular sightseeing venue. It's one thing to take a snapshot of yourself or friends in front of the Louvre. That's perfectly valid, even desirable. But hordes of museum-goers cannot resist the temptation to shoot anything and everything on exhibit -- instead of looking at the objects through their own eyes.

“I mean, who needs to take a photo of the Mona Lisa? What is going through these people's minds as they race through galleries snapping hundreds of pictures of EVERYTHING -- yet failing to pause and appreciate ANYTHING?” What, indeed? We hate them!

Obnoxious morons:
three examples of rude behavior
Officially registered at Hate for Hire, June 20, 2010.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Hating Via Matta

One of the unfortunate side effects of the recent deification of “celebrity chefs” is the unfortunate degree of snobby rudeness that some restauranteurs have developed. Where do they get off being so deliberately nasty to their customers? And since when are we supposed to just take this behavior without retaliation. Our petitioner this time is fighting back.

“When two friends and I visited Boston's Via Matta, we ordered ‘Seasonal Roast Vegetables’ ($10) with our entrees. The main courses arrived along with one sliced tomato, one sliced cucumber, which we assumed was a salad. We inquired about our roast vegetables and the waiter indicated the tomato and cucumber. This was in September at the peak of harvest season, so vegetables were not in short supply. The waiter disappeared.” Wait, it gets worse.

“When the waiter returned, he said the chef had a message for us, ‘Tell them if they want a carrot, I’ll try to find one.’” Excuse me? What warranted this abrasive, unprofessional reply from someone in the hospitality business? The menus are printed daily; if an item doesn’t exist, then don’t list it…and be civil to your high-paying guests. (Entrees alone at Via Matta average $26-39.)

We hate Via Matta and will never return there…or to any of the other “chic” restaurants that Via Matta chef Mike Pagliarini (above) and then-owner/partners Michael Schlow (left) and Chris Myers (below) have a hand in. (We’re giving former general manager Esti Benson Parsons the benefit of the doubt.) The list includes greater Boston's Radius, Alta Strada, 606 Congress, Great Bay and Myers & Chang. We encourage you to boycott them, too.

Let these abusive morons know that this type of reprehensible behavior is just not acceptable. There are plenty of kinder places to eat. With better food. And, from time to time, seasonal roast vegetables.

Via Matta:
Officially registered at Hate for Hire,
June 13, 2010.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Hating HR morons (one in particular)

Have you noticed how the most inappropriate people tend to gravitate toward certain professions? For example, how many unbalanced people do you know who have become therapists? And we need both hands to count the active alcoholics we know who are (or were for years) substance-abuse counselors. That kind of thing.

Perhaps the most heinously ironic match, however, is that of the Human Resources “professional” who is completely lacking in any modicum of people skills. (Anyone who works in a business should be nodding in agreement right about now.) In many of the jobs we’ve held through the years, we learned early on that in order to get something done efficiently or to get accurate and necessary information, avoid HR at all costs. (We think they got on their high-horse just about the time of their unfortunate name change from Personnel. There are exceptions, of course, but damn few. Damn few.)

Our petitioner this time, an experienced web/print writer and published author, sends along a brief note from one particular HR moron, a tossed-off email reply to an inquiry about the status of a job application (and follow-up requested writing sample) that had been submitted weeks before. The email reads: “We’re interviewing 3 people this week. If they are not suitable, we may be back in touch with you.”

Excuse me? How rude! Is this someone whose job should be dealing with people? It gets worse. Following the above text, she adds “Thanks for reaching out.” Period. No signature. Gag.

As it happens, an additional H4H petition about this same HR “broad” was submitted independently by a third party: “To be Officially Registered at Hate 4 Hire, WITH A BULLET… May they rot in Hell.” Man, this dame is on somebody’s shit list big time. And now, happily, she’s on ours, too.

No one needs to be told that times are hard. Many talented people are looking for work. They should not have to endure the insulting shenanigans of an insolent RueLaLa malcontent such as this. We hate her.

HR morons (one in particular):
Officially registered at Hate for Hire, June 3, 2010.