It's a bumper sticker. No, it's a T-shirt. No, it's a way of life. Well, maybe the first two, but rarely the third. How easy and how lazy it is to plaster a slogan on your bumper or your chest. So easy in fact that those who do so can then comfortably take the moral low road and stop right there. Why bother to embody the philosophy as long as your car or your made-in-Sri Lanka cotton tee does?.jpg)
Our petitioner this time: "Know what I hate? Those stupid bumper stickers with all the religious iconography that some moron thinks is so clever." Oh, but let's not stop there. How about "Celebrate Diversity," the bumper sticker that means absolutely nothing beyond "I'm a better person than you are, so there"?
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Above, a gallery of easy-way-out slogans for the publicly moral. Below, a more honest if less appealing spokesperson.
At long last, the much-anticipated and richly deserved H4H nod to the talent-free Julia Roberts. She’s been on our back burner for some time now, but the upcoming summer release of the film version of Eat Pray Love has kicked her candidacy into high gear.
Our patient petitioner notes: “Who likes this jerk anyway? She overacts in every movie she’s ever been in. And she always seems quite pleased with herself.”
We’re not big fans of organized religion here at H4H, but even we were irritated when we heard that Roberts’ filming her Eat Pray Love “spiritual enlightenment” segment in India blocked a congregation of Hindus from entering their temple during religious holidays. Didn’t they get the memo that they’d be interfering with HER “moment”?
Just who do you think you are anyway? That’s what our petitioners would like to ask the selfish, obnoxious blockheads who’ve prompted our entry this time. All three examples are symptomatic of the evaporation of good manners in an ever-increasing “me first” world that’s only getting worse.
Are people getting stupider? Or is it that nowadays we can actually hear what they’re thinking (whether we like it or not) as they yammer on and on, on public buses, in supermarkets, even just walking through an otherwise quiet park? “And then I go…and then he goes…” Shut UP, will you?
Our petitioner moans, “I once had to listen to a girl tell her friend all about her sex-filled weekend, how drunk she got, and how happy her bf was that she wasn’t pregnant.” Just one example of many. We hate these rude people.
Noise bothers us, too. And each of us has his or her own peeves. Music in the workplace? No, gracias. Windchimes when we’re trying to sleep? See our March 28 posting. Here’s a complaint with a decidedly “niche” slant.
A petitioner from overseas writes: “I hate camera-toting people who insist on shooting everything in sight in a museum or at a popular sightseeing venue. It's one thing to take a snapshot of yourself or friends in front of the Louvre. That's perfectly valid, even desirable. But hordes of museum-goers cannot resist the temptation to shoot anything and everything on exhibit -- instead of looking at the objects through their own eyes.
“I mean, who needs to take a photo of the Mona Lisa? What is going through these people's minds as they race through galleries snapping hundreds of pictures of EVERYTHING -- yet failing to pause and appreciate ANYTHING?” What, indeed? We hate them!
“When two friends and I visited Boston's Via Matta, we ordered ‘Seasonal Roast Vegetables’ ($10) with our entrees. The main courses arrived along with one sliced tomato, one sliced cucumber, which we assumed was a salad. We inquired about our roast vegetables and the waiter indicated the tomato and cucumber. This was in September at the peak of harvest season, so vegetables were not in short supply. The waiter disappeared.” Wait, it gets worse.
“When the waiter returned, he said the chef had a message for us, ‘Tell them if they want a carrot, I’ll try to find one.’” Excuse me? What warranted this abrasive, unprofessional reply from someone in the hospitality business? The menus are printed daily; if an item doesn’t exist, then don’t list it…and be civil to your high-paying guests. (Entrees alone at Via Matta average $26-39.)
We hate Via Matta and will never return there…or to any of the other “chic” restaurants that Via Matta chef Mike Pagliarini (above) and then-owner/partners Michael Schlow (left) and Chris Myers (below) have a hand in. (We’re giving former general manager Esti Benson Parsons the benefit of the doubt.) The list includes greater Boston's Radius, Alta Strada, 606 Congress, Great Bay and Myers & Chang. We encourage you to boycott them, too.
Let these abusive morons know that this type of reprehensible behavior is just not acceptable. There are plenty of kinder places to eat. With better food. And, from time to time, seasonal roast vegetables.